it’s been one year since I tried to kill myself and honestly just even typing it is difficult. I want to tell someone but my family wouldn’t see that as an accomplishment, just as an attention grab, and only a few of my friends know about it but I don’t want them to have to think about it.
I don’t know how to feel. Tbh I don’t really feel much, it’s kinda a bittersweet thing to feel proud of because what’s really changed? My self esteem has dropped, my medication isn’t doing anything anymore, I can’t stand school anymore, the people around me suck and I’m losing interest in everything I’ve ever loved. I still haven’t healed and I’m still not better, but somehow I’m still going and that’s ok. I don’t know if I’m ever gonna be ‘better’ or be ‘okay’, all I know is right now I’m here and I’m me and I’m doing relatively decent.
thank u, not even sure if this makes sense but do things always need to make sense?