(25 F) I was in the hospital for a suicide attempt in October of last year. I’ve been on antidepressants since I was 15, basically tried them all. In and out of therapy. I have always struggled. Certain life events have definitely worsened my depression as well. Last year I had hit a breaking point. I left work one morning to go kill myself. I know I am partially to blame for things that have happened to me, one being that I put myself into 15k+ in debt. After feeling I was out of options, I was introduced to Ketamine therapy. (Spravato) On top of already having constant stress trying to pay off my debt while also trying to live and support myself, I felt I had no other option but to try it. The co pay alone is 70 a week. I also have to still keep up with going the therapy weekly, and filing my other prescriptions. I have already racked a couple hundred dollars on a credit card just to be able to afford these copays. Usually this would break me, but since starting ketamine therapy my life has changed in small, but meaningful ways. I have not wanted to kill myself since starting ketamine therapy. I have had these thoughts as early as 9 years old, and now they are just gone. I feel like I am happy again, which didn’t feel possible for many years. I actually forgot what happiness felt like. I dont know if anyone else is dealing with something similar, but just know you are not alone. The world is complete shit right now, life sucks and it’s hard to keep hope. Although it is not available everywhere, I encourage anyone struggling like me to try ketamine therapy. I think it has saved my life, and made me see hope again despite feeling like I already ruined my life.
