I have worked for multinational companies for the past \~30 years and was downsized 3 months ago. Since then, I have posted for a few hundred jobs with only a single initial interview which went nowhere.
My plan is to keep applying for jobs until Oct/Nov and then commit suicide. The plan is to stop taking my heart medication a month before strenuously hiking in the mountains to have a heart attack or slip off a cliff.
I have done everything right in the eyes of Corporate America. I have worked 60 hour weeks, travelled on weekends, played office politics and done everything asked of me even if I thought it was wrong.
I have an adequate retirement fund however, I am in my 50’s and too far away from accessing my IRAs without incurring penalties and would have to buy my own healthcare which would be at least $2k/month. I estimate it would cost me \~$1.5mn to bridge to the minimum retirement age of 62.
My children are grown and out of the house. My spouse stayed home to raise the family but now with the children grown, she has divergent interests from me so I think in the long run, she would be happier with someone else. I don’t believe she is unhappy, but I think she’d like to do more with the time she has before she is too old to do them.
What is motivating me to end my life is; I have no interest feeling the humiliation of unwinding everything I worked for. I know it will hurt the family, but over time, I think they will be better off.
I am not being selfish, I feel I am being pragmatic.