This is something I’ve been beating myself up a while about and I feel like its mostly my fault but I wanted to be able to get an opinion without people knowing who I am.
So Basically my boyfriend at the time who made me feel special and like i was loved wanted to have sex, so he started taking my clothes off even though I told him I didn’t wanna do it. I told him multiple times no I don’t wanna do it yet he still kept going. After taking my clothes off he yk “put it in me” and I froze. I didn’t say anything or do anything against it because I was scared. I didn’t know what to say and I wish I spoke up more because technically It probably wouldn’t count as rape? This happened multiple times but I only told him no the first 3 times, and then I just knew that even if I told him I didn’t wanna do it he wasn’t going to listen to me. So I let him do it to me without any back talk over and over I didn’t wanna lose him as my boyfriend as I was going through rough things and I feel like I am the one to blame but I am not sure. Am I in the wrong?
Yes.
If you have to ask if it was, it definitely was. Does not matter how far along you are into the action, if you say no, the actions should stop. No means no. At any time. This is exactly what you think it is.
Yeah, that’s rape.
No consent = rape
Rape or not, you are not to blame. Do not blame yourself.
It does sound like sexual assault. I’m sorry.
If the story went down like this and you actually said “no” multiple times leading up to that moment…. Yes, those occurrences are rape.
If you say be going through your purse and you kept telling me to stop but I didn’t I eventually took your wallet and left… that’s theft.
No, that’s rape 100 percent. He didn’t listen when you asserted no which is clearly not consenting. I’m really sorry that you had to go through something like that.
Yes, you said no and he ignored it and continued anyway, thats Rape
Hi Love
This is so, so wrong… If he knew you didn’t consent and still did it anyways, then he totally did rape you i’m sorry… I don’t know how old you are, but this is a very serious matter and I don’t think it’s good for you to stay with a jerk like him, he doesn’t deserves your kindness… Especially if he did that MULTIPLE times
You seem like a very sweet person, i don’t think he is good for you, it might be hard, especially if you are young. You should really talk about it to somebody you can trust: parents, friends…
You can also report him to the police if he goes too far.
You are absolutely NOT in the wrong, he’s totally the only one to blame, i know that it is hard to say no to people you love, but sometimes you’re better off without the person you like. If he truly loved you, he would’ve have waited for you to be ready, and he would have never ignored your no’s multiple times
Please be safe Love <3 Don’t be afraid to talk about this to people, it is VERY, VERY wrong that he did that, truly. You should NOT blame yourself AT ALL… I hope you’ll get better soon, but please dump him, you can even have people with you in case he doesn’t takes it well, or do it by text. Guys are crazy these days to hurt such sweet people…
No, you are not wrong. He is. And yes, in the initial cases, it clearly sounds like Rape. In later instances, Your agreement (even though reluctantly) may be taken as implied consent. Depends on how one represents those facts because you are still going back to it without any logical reasoning.
no you didn’t do anything wrong. he did rape you, I’m sorry. therapy can help a lot
Yeah… that’s rape. That is very much rape. You said no. He did it anyway. This is 100% rape. I’m sorry you went through that. But yes. This is in fact rape.
Your boyfriend is scum for doing that to you. He forced himself onto you even when you said no. Then did it again, knowing you wouldn’t fight back. That’s rape.
You are not to blame at all. This is on your boyfriend for not following the rules of sex Ed. “NO MEANS NO.” Not maybe, not what if, not how about. No. It means no. And he broke that rule.
I can’t speak to the legal definitions but to me this is bare minimum assault, and probably rape. Not all rape is hand-over-mouth, clothes ripped, ect. You said no numerous times, he didn’t stop. You then “letting him do it ” after telling him no isn’t the same as actually consenting to it. I can’t speak to anything legally, just from what is right and wrong and there is zero ambiguity that what he did was wrong and all the responsibility was on him to stop at the first NO.
It was rape. You’re not in the wrong. But it’s good you’re not with him anymore.
Unfortunately, this is rape. I’m so sorry your boyfriend would do this to you.
First, I’m so sorry that happened to you. To answer your question, Yes in most jurisdictions. Im assuming you live in the US, I’m a law student, but this is not legal advice. First in most states, all you need for rape is a lack of consent. Some need a verbal no, others need signs of resistance. Here, I believe repeating no several times would be sufficient for a rape charge in most places. And if the law can charge him, its clearly rape.
Its hard to interpret this as anything but repeated rape.
The guy sounds like a monster from your description.
Yes, please get help
And learn so fight back today is a different world then it was yesterday or a week ago things will change and they’ll keep changing, men won’t die out so don’t enact a feminist dream, we won’t receive a surplus in women births this years so don’t believe you can’t prevent this from happening again to anyone else.
Lastly, we are often the cause of our own self sabotage and or destruction. End things now with the guy or live with a bigger regrets then the ones you had before overall your choice.
“Everyone has played their cards, now it’s time for you to go all in or fold” -some human
Yes, it’s rape
You didn’t give consent.