I did, I know. I can see my mistakes, work hard and learn from them, hell even improve a bit, become a slightly better person but it’s never enough, even if I’m better I’m never good, I’m never enough.
I have nothing, literally nothing going on for me on any aspect of my life, I don’t have money, I don’t have a good life, I don’t have a great health, I don’t have friends, I don’t have a girlfriend, I barely even have a very complicated little family and they’re not that fond of me either.
I try hard, I don’t really give up that easily but it’s been so long, everyday is harder, everyday is worse and it never gets better. I’ve seen people in worse places than me but even for them things got better eventually, but not for me.
I just want to be normal, I just want to feel like people want me around, I’m not evil, I’m not rude, hell, I don’t even think I’m that ugly, I’m just not someone people want to be with, I can’t understand them or make myself understood.
I’m tired, I’ve tried so hard and for so long but I can’t see an end to this, not unless I put and end to it myself.
