I am 20, and I was on 200mg sertraline/zoloft between ages 16 to 19.
When I went to university, I became really burned out and at some point I took myself off my meds completely cold turkey. I have no memory of what happened afterwards; the rest of the school year is a blur. I don’t even know WHY I came off them.
Thing is, I think I want to start them again. I can’t afford a psychologist and bogstandard counselling has never worked for me so i feel like meds might be the only option.
A lot is going wrong for me at the moment and I’m in a very dark place. But i’m scared because i’ve been pretty severely dissociated for a very long time. Like I haven’t existed for years (at least that’s how it feels). And i’m scared of having to actually face things and have things actually happen to me. When i’m dissociated i know logically that things affect me, but the feelings are so muted or so distant that it’s like they don’t affect me at all.
I’m scared of having to actually face them. I’m also scared that going cold turkey might have messed my brain up. Because I was on a biiig dose, and I was on it for a while. My GP doesn’t even know that i stopped. I don’t know how it’s going to affect me or if it will at all or if i’ll go even deeper into dissociation or if i’ll thrive. I’m scared because I don’t know and I hate not knowing.
If anyone else has restarted zoloft/sertraline after going cold turkey, how did it affect you?