Id really like some advice if anyone’s been in a similar situation.
I recently got a new job about 7 weeks ago, it’s for a really prestigious private equity company and I’m surprised I even got it seeing as I didn’t have much experience. It’s only the receptionist role however because I want to become an Executive Assistant in the finance field it’s an amazing opportunity and stepping stone towards my career.
Although I’m trying to be grateful for this role, it’s really difficult as my anxiety has been through the roof since starting. I have never had issues making friends at work but the only group of people around my age won’t talk to me because they are friends with the girl that trained me (and doesn’t like me). I tried really hard with her and she inevitably didn’t like me because I asked too many questions when she was training me as she was starting a new role herself and told me that it came off as me questioning her authority. I genuinely was shocked when she said this because normally trainers like me because I show such interest in learning and I’ve never received feedback that I would come across as disrespectful? All in all, because of that she spoke shit about me to everyone my age who now refuses to even bother to try to get to know me. I’ve even had a sit down with her and apologised and talked it all out but nothing has changed.
People actively push me out of conversations, literally ignore me when I ask them a question, or just be plain rude and it’s weird to me as I’ve always been an easy person to get along with (I’ve been told this I’m not trying to be cocky haha).
I feel really isolated and treated like a piece of furniture most of the time. I understand the finance industry isn’t full of the most out there, extroverted people and I wasn’t expecting that – but at least someone to be willing to be welcoming and get to know me as much as I am trying to get to know them would me nice.
Since starting my panic attacks have been pretty bad, I feel really depressed and tired all the time because I can’t sleep the night before because I’m so stressed about work. The job itself I know I’m good at, but it’s so intimidating being around people that constantly feel like they don’t like me or respect me at all that it’s making my motivation to want to work well dwindle. Throughout the week I’m so high strung and irritable because of the stress, and on the weekends I just sleep the entire time because I’m so burnt out. I feel like I have no life and no one who cares about me on a day to day basis at all.
Id be stupid to quit this job because after a years experience I would be able to work in any other firm with them as a refrence – but I don’t know how I’m going to get through this day to day realistically.
I know I’m still really new, and I know there will be opportunities to eventually fit in – I just feel like this group of people in particular I don’t fit in. One of the other EAs feels the same and actually opened up to me today which was nice, telling me in her experience not all firms have been like this and the other firms she worked at were a lot “warmer” (you could act like a human that can have a laugh and not a robot). I’m using that as motivation for now, but I think she will be leaving the firm soon also.
With Sydney becoming more and more expensive and my landlord increasing my rent also, I literally can’t quit as this is the “best” pay I’ve ever been on (and still barely getting by on that).
I guess has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you handle working in an environment like that and were you able to figure out how to switch your brain off at night so you can at least sleep?
Thanks 🙂