I was mentally in a dark place for 2 years, fully functioning on the inside but felt like I was going through hell on the inside. It was apparent I was struggling whenever I would lash out on close family for little to no reason. I would ignore most of my personal needs, barely did my hair or skincare and barely exercised or did my homework. (i simply could not do it, i was stuck in freeze state)
i would watch sad tiktoks and resonate with other teenagers who were going through the exact same thing as me, go on reddit and read about peoples’ struggles in their lives, finding comfort in the shared journey of pushing through each day with strangers who understand. Giving others advice and getting advice etc etc.
Lately i feel like a switch has been turn on in my brain and I am so much better. I no longer have anxiety over regular normal things or when socializing with people. I find taking care of myself to be fun, i love to improve myself now and I want to make my life better from now on and I will never let myself get down again I will always push hard to pick myself up.
But then I think about all the people who are still in that dark place, who have no guidance or mental toughness to save themselves like I did.. and i feel bad… i feel like i’m leaving them behind. I feel so privileged.
I am still grateful ❤️