Hello! I’m F(16) and had something traumatic happen to me in July of 2023. My mom thinks I lost my virginity to a guy, but really I was SA. I’ve been SA before (8) but it only happened once. This time it happened for 4 days straight. My mom and me got into a very big argument and names like whore and slut got thrown at me. She then took me out of school and put me in homeschool because she doesn’t want her daughter to be “passed around.” Myself and my mother’s relationship deteriorated and things at home began to get worse after that. It was like a nonstop cycle of arguing, pretending like everything was ok, to name calling and then the cycle continues.
She put me in counseling because my anxiety got bad to the point I was making my scalp bleed because scratching my head soothes me. After the appointment I started crying in the car, she asked what was wrong and I told her the counselor said I needed to have an outlet, friends, and social life. My mother brushed it off and when we got home we got into another argument because I said she doesn’t listen to me. Everything went bad again.
Since July, I haven’t left my bed. I have been in this bed for almost a year and haven’t moved. I wake up, stay in bed till 4 and make myself dinner and come back upstairs, and do my school. I want to be better and get up but every time I try and do something I get tired and lay back down. I don’t know why I do this but I want it to stop. I physical can’t do it anymore. I literally can’t get up. My body doesn’t want me too. I want to lose weight because laying down all day has made me gain a lot of weight. I want to end whatever I have going on but I don’t know how.