I can laugh, I can smile, I can not think about death for days, but suddenly the idea pops up again,so I think about it, but the thought does not linger long as I have other stuff to do. I rarely cry for being sad, most of the time I cry for being happy, I think the last time I cried being actually sad was last summer where I wanted to die so bad so I swallowed pills.
However, if I have chance to die,( something that force me like zombie apocalypse appearing or me and my family members having a heated argument or basically anything that triggers me,so when my parent argue with me,I argue back to them, I’m waiting on them to say or do something that triggers me so bad that my emotions get ahold of me(usually it doesn’t) so in situation like those, I would do it in a heartbeat, otherwise I couldn’t really do it until I get over my fear of opening the door to the rooftop.