Hi all,
So the other day my girlfriend and I got into a really bad argument. We had been arguing on and off over the really nasty fight for a couple of days. Finally, one of the days we seem to settle it enough and I leave to the kitchen to make myself food because I hadn’t eaten yet that day. When she comes into the kitchen, she is upset because she had been making sure to refill our beverages in the fridge for several days and I did not when we ran out. Despite this being a small thing, I kind of blew it off in that moment because I was exhausted from fighting and couldn’t really take in one more comment about what I wasn’t doing correctly. I left to sit down and she is really annoyed with me that this is yet another thing “I cannot take accountability for.” After a couple minutes of back and forth, I start talking SUPER quickly, the talking building into screaming/ crying, and I put my hands on my head and screamed “I KNOW I CANT DO ANYTHING RIGHT JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!” And basically I started hysterically screaming, crying, and hyperventilating and keep screaming to leave me alone. I felt like I had NO control over myself at this point and I couldn’t calm myself down for the life of me. I ended up locking myself in the bathroom, sobbing on the floor and hyperventilating. I didn’t eat either after spending 25 minutes making my food because of how worked up I had become. After I calmed down, I felt so stupid. Like I had just thrown a child -like tantrum and completely lost my shit. Did I just hit a threshold? Do I have a mental illness? Why was this so intense?