TW: brief mention of suicide
Posting this on a throwaway account. Idk how much I want to get into about my personal life, but in short I’ve been severely struggling with depression for about 4 years, masking it for 10. I am in therapy, have a job and a partner. I live paycheck to paycheck, don’t have any friends, and am affected deeply by the things that are going on in Gaza, and right now and here in the US with our economy, healthcare, homeless crisis, etc.
I’m trying to break my habit of doom scrolling tiktok, but I also want to be informed- but seeing all of this death and destruction and the active role the government has had in taking away our rights- abortion laws, the protest law in Texas, Mississippi, and Louisiana…it’s all so much. I’m already someone who leans on the cynical side of things; I think greed,money, and power will always prevail but I’m also trying to be more positive and failing. Obviously I know there is a lot of good in the world and good people, but living in a world where there is this level of preventable suffering at all times is exhausting.
Idk if any of this makes sense but as someone who also struggles with suicidal ideation/purpose/existential crisis daily- I’m struggling even harder to see a point to any of this. Is there any hope for our future, is this life really worth living? I keep holding out and yet the older I get and the more I learn, the worse I feel.
If you made it this far, thanks for reading. ✌🏼