I have never won in my life. I failed so much and never tasted victory once in my life, I don’t even understand the feeling. I don’t thrive to do anything because I would feel the same either way. It seems pointless to chase things when I won’t feel any different so I don’t. When people imagine things about themselves they have a light in their eyes, and they feel that feeling of success, and that drives them. When I imagine winning or getting ripped, or rich, or a happy family, I don’t feel any different. I feel like if I got all those things nothing would change. Everything I do is driven off off expectations, I don’t wish for anything because I know no matter what I will feel the same, so it’s pointless to me. I understand others care and feel things so I help them out because I don’t feel anything when I “win” but I understand they do, so instead of wasting my time trying to chase something that won’t make me feel different I help others achieve that instead.