When I was younger I was taken advantage of by a boyfriend really early into our relationship. I had my first kiss on the day I lost my virginity. I said yes to him, so “taken advantage of” might be an iffy statement. Anyways, this really warped my perception of the way relationships were supposed to progress. I was in a two 5-6 month relationships after that and we would have sex 1-2 months into the relationship. I just thought that was the way it was supposed to go.
I’m older (by a couple years) and I’m healing. but I look back on those relationships and the thought of sex makes me feel disgusting and pathetic. I’m so scared I won’t be able to really reclaim my sexuality and live my life unfulfilled.
Does it ever get better?