This is a throw away account: I don’t want anyone i know finding out about this situation.
I am my grandmas caregiver and i’m proud of it, my grandma has been everything to me, i’ve learned a lot from her. She has a load of health issues, some which are more complex than others. This responsibility wasn’t given to me, i wanted this responsibility and took it 7 years ago after her second open heart surgery.
Everything at the time was relatively easy, but as we age, more stuff happens. In the past year her heart function/mental status has declined. The belief is that the poor heart function is resulting in poor blood circulation to the brain. With this she requires a lot of assistance, she can’t be left home alone, we luckily have an aide who watches her while me and my parents are away.
She also has issues with her daughter, have had issues for decades. They haven’t spoken in years, in the last year she has had episodes where’s she’s adamant she saw her (just recently, she’s adamant that she saw her daughter breaking into our house). According to the doctors, she has no evidence of alzheimer’s or dementia.
This is affecting me a lot, especially recently. It’s hard for me to want to make plans because of what i do. My dad is very much involved, he’ll take responsibility, but i feel if im not present i get massive guilt. If i try to make plans i know I’ll be unable to stay committed.
to add to this, i recently came across someone i have massive feelings for, we’ve spoken intermittently but never consistently. I can’t bring my self to have numerous conversations with because if i do, my feelings will only grow. I know i mentally cannot handle a relationship and care for my grandma at the same time.
I’m 19, i know i should be enjoying my teenage years, i haven’t been able to. I have no regrets for what i’ve done. The lack of communication and interaction with people has taken a toll on me.
Idk who stayed to read all of this, but if you did thank you