I've settled for so much. Never got the car i wanted. Didn't get the job I wanted. Didn't get the duty station I wanted. Couldn't marry the woman I wanted.
It's been a rough life. Dad died when I was 9. Drummed out of the navy on a bogus medical. Discharge over my religion. Went to prison instead of going back to japan, can never go back as a result. Sister lost my truck while I was in prison. Friends and family alike abandoned me.
This weekend i tried to submit an offer on a house. I've been living in a hotel since October. Trying to use my VA loan. Fell in love with this house, made an offer, 30m later a higher offer was put in and I can't beat it.
Why must everything be taken away from me? Why am I doomed to a life of settling for less and unhappiness? Life for me is nothing but pain. I feel like it's all I've ever known. Every time I find some small measure of joy, it's brutally taken away from me. Do I even deserve happiness?
…and why do I feel this strongly over a house? It's an inanimate building and I have no connection to it other than a 30m tour.