Hello there mentalhealth community,
I just hit another low…
Bit about me?
Im autistic and awaiting to get diagnosed with adhd on top of it. According to my therapist id be the book example of add (not the hyperactive kind) but he isnt allowed to diagnose me.
Currently doing my first year of my nursing bachelor (2nd education) ane technically loving it…
the only problem?
The studying. Im struggling to focus or even just pay attention in class. I can read a sentence 10x and still cant process what ive read… it makes me feel so incapable and insanely stupid, besides knowing that i scored high on the iq testing 😭 it feels like my brain is absolutely wirking against me lately and just keeps trying to sabotage me in all my efforts.
Im scared of the semester finals that are next week and feel like im gonna fail them even though im trying my best to study for them…
On top of that my work bestie got burnout so i kinda had to keep an eye on her as she wasnt in a good place and still isnt doing greatly. So if she calls im basically gonna drop what im doing because i never know whats up.
Due to the nursing degree being a 100% study and only being able to work occassionally i had to move back home after living on my own during the week (distance whise it only made sense to return on the weekends and i lowkey enjoyed being on my own)
The returing def took an adjustment and im back in the old scheme of hiding in my room… my family doesnt really understand how my diagnosis affects my life and why i struggle with “normal” tasks..
On top of that my parents marriage is disfunctional since years… they have very different ideas of life and are basically not talking anymore… but my mom has a habbit of leaving her mental load regarding that with me… like shed complain about stuff and id tell her how to fix it but she just ignores that and complains about the same bs every time.
Im rather sick of it but also cant really escape as i still have 2 more years in my degree left…
I guess i dont even know where i was going with this but if someone has some ways of staying sane pls share them with me🥺