I have already typed this once but accidentally deleted it. Idk if this belongs here but will post it here for now.
I have noticed I have a difficulty knowing what I feel and like. Sometimes if I smile and then stop it feels like I was never really "happy" its just kinda empty and its like there was just a smile there but not any real feelings or something. Its like the only signs of me being happy is smiling or laughing. If my body does not react by smiling or feeling tense I dont really know what I feel. I do know what the different body reactions mean or what feelings I link them too though.
I dont really know what I want either. I know some things will probably benefit me more than other things and some wont. Some things I have a difficulty doing and its like there is a strain cause I dont wanna do it or something and some stuff is way easier to do. I dont even really know what being happy or wanting something means either. Sometimes I think I might know what I feel and want but its just more difficult I guess.
I dont really know what I say before I say it and what I do is kind of just on autopilot. It does come to a surprise what I do, at least mostly, but I never really KNOW before I do or say the stuff. Ofcourse if I am walking somewhere I know what will most likely happen but not more than that. Idk if that has anything to do with it.I lost touch with words like happiness, love and multiple others.
I guess I am just curious about what and how other people feel.
I am looking into getting help it just feels like it takes a long time and will continue too sometimes.
Have a nice day yall 🙂