I mentioned yesterday that I had asked a couple of old friends if we could talk. One of them finally got back to me 16 hours later. They said “it’s best if we don’t” because “it’s really stressful for me to be in contact when there’s a chance that if I say or do the wrong thing (or don’t do something) that you’ll harm yourself” and that they “can’t be in touch until you’re feeling like treatment has gone well for a while and you’re super solid on coping strategies for distress.”
This feels so so painful. They’re barely a friend already so the fact that I reached out in the first place just says how desperate I am. I’ve already been hurting myself regularly and I wanted so desperately to tell someone that but I guess they don’t care.
I don’t know what else to do.