Grief seems to get worse the longer it’s been

Let me start with this, I’m a 16 year old male. My mom died ~ a year and a half ago. I know bottling emotions is bad and I know you’re supposed to grieve.I cried on occasion, and I missed her of course, but it seems like the longer I’ve gone without her, the harder it’s gotten. Especially recently, I’ve been trying to better myself, and I think my mental state is the worst it’s ever been, I feel like I have like no energy, and I’ve been missing my mom more than ever. I have friends that I know are there for me, I just hate talking about my emotions and I’d rather just bottle them instead.

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