After having a big fight with my friend, and that I couldn't trust her anymore, I basically lost that friendship, and I just can't forgive her because that happens multiple times, but the real problem is that, I have a friend who I was talking day and night since I wasn't going to school, but when I started going to school and I had a lot less time to respond and have long talks with him, and I love him very much I really do, but at one point he snapped and told me that i'm always busy, that I'm changing, that he hates it, and how I never listen to him (which I found ironic because when he's feeling down I'm always asking but he always avoid the subject) and that he was always listening to me even tho sometime he wasn't feeling well, and I felt like a joke to him because i was working really hard, he knew, that's why I couldn't really respond, but I always reassured him I still loved him like I always did, I hanged out with him even though I wasn't feeling like going out ect ect because he means a lot to me so I really felt like a joke to him.
But when my feelings are hurt, I go completely non verbal so I didn't responded to his text and then he sent "and now you don't even take a little of your time to respond to me" and that made me even more angrier. And a day later I wrote a whole paragraph in my note basically just being angry but didn't send it, I just send to him "there's a lot i wanna say, but I won't." then he asked me what did he do wrong to correct his mistakes and I told him that he said some hurtful thing to me that made me feel like a joke to him and, him who always told me he liked to hear me talk and that I wasn't a burden, made me feel like one, and then after that it's like he opened his eyes and began to apologize saying he has gone too far ect ect and like that's okay, he can be very insecure so I get it, so a day later again I sent him so text saying that I was sorry too, that I shouldn't have reacted like that ect explain to him why I didn't respond and then he talked to me like normal which made me happy! But I just couldn't bring myself to talk to him, and that's when I realised I have a very very difficult time forgiving people who hurt me and it can go really far and it's making feel horrible because I really REALLY don't forgive easily, maybe because I have trust issues I don't know, but it's been a real weight on my shoulders and so I was wondering,
Does anyone has any tips to get better at forgiving? I'm not talking about forgiving everyone a few minutes later, but just not holding grudge on someone for weeks for something that happened for only a few minutes