The following are some issues I’ve experienced that I don’t know how to resolve. Lately, I came to the conclusion that every single issue I have is because of me. I am the problem and I am holding myself back from being where I need to be in life. This makes me just want to die to be quite honest but I also have to keep going.
I’m 19F and every job I had I can never keep for longer than 6 months.
Recently I started an internship (mid February) I believe and on Thursday my manager informed me that my contract is terminated as I did not meet expectations of the role.
I can never accomplish anything in life, I always take so long to get ready for work which results in me arriving later (it’s a hybrid work environment so I didn’t think it’s an issue).
Every part-time job that I had, managers would always cut my hours so I’m obviously the problem.
I am terrible as a student and as an employee. I have the worst work ethic and I can never focus at work. In my internship I was never given guidance by my manager and I wasn’t able to submit tasks on time because I didn’t know how to do them most of the time but I also took so long to do everything. I can never sit at my desk for a long time, I always feel the need to go on walks or take breaks.
I don’t just lack discipline with school and work, I lack discipline with everything. I’ve been wanting to lose weight for a while because I gained weight in winter and I can never get myself to follow a proper diet. As a result, I’m 55 kilos now and I’m only 5’0. I always give in to everything that I want and I just suck at being a disciplined individual.
I want to be a good student and a good employee but I genuinely don’t know where to start and how to turn my life around. I need help. It seems like one part of my brain wants me to be this accomplished individual with a lot of work experience and internships, but the other part of my brain holds me from doing anything to execute my goals and get me to where I need to be.
It’s not just about wanting something, it’s about “doing” what needs to be done to hopefully get there. I can’t seem to do what needs to be done or take steps in the right direction. I need help.