How come everyone says I’m bipolar until they meet my family?

I have classic Borderline personality disorder and mental health clinicians don’t agree with borderline until they meet my family. How come my word is never good enough for mental health clinicians?
No matter how many times I’ve said I don’t have highs and lows, I constantly want to hurt myself because I hate myself and they’re just like oh it’s bipolar, then they meet my family for meetings and agree with borderline
They also say I don’t have borderline personality because I’m nice and easy to get along with

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