I don't know how to process grief. I lost my best friend when I was 12/13 and it sent me over the edge mentally and almost literally. Lost my GPA not long after and threw myself into school and study to avoid the pain.
When I lost my aunt, I was 18. I still remember pleading for them to not take my auntie away when they were taking her coffin out of the funeral home.
Whenever I have a new loss each one of these people harrass my brain until I'm a blubbering mess and can't breath because it hurts so much.
I'm almost 29 now and in 18 months, maybe 2 years my mum will pass away because of cancer. She is the last adult I had growing up that I truly trusted, truely felt like loves me. And I'm going to lose her too. IV thrown myself into my writing to try not think about it, after all she is still here. But when the occasion comes and I can't think about anything else, the losses IV had all come rushing in.
I don't think I've grieved properly, but like.. how do you grieve? How do you get past it? Or am I just.. broken?
