This person isn’t lacking in goodwill and empathy at a tangible level (so actions), she’s always looked after the wellbeing of others. Acted as a nurse, making sure people are fed, cooking for others, etc. She is a very loving mother. Her entire business is around providing people with the best medical care available. She came from a wealthy background but has since become a lot more wealthy from her own businesses (she has another side business), and her family wealth also increased significantly since she finished education. This has allowed her the opportunity to adopt a bunch of kids so that things like schooling, food, living and other expenses are all paid for.
However she is a very emotionally abusive person (lacking in empathy at an emotional level), but she doesn’t realise she is and doesn’t realise the impact her actions have on people.
The aspects of emotional abuse she uses; emotional neglect, emotional blackmail, gaslighting, blame shifting.
She uses a range of techniques to not address her own actions when you try to bring her emotional abusive behaviour up like; talking about other empathetic things she’s done, change the course of events and accuse you doing things she in fact did (i.e. blame shifting – not communicating enough, abandoning all contact, etc.) – more significantly she’s never taken ownership or responsibility for her emotional abuse, which also means she isn’t able to recognise how hurtful it is. Because of this she’s never apologised for any of it either, in fact I don’t remember a time she ever has when she has hurt someone emotionally.
I realise that all self improvement comes from within and that a person can only grow and heal if they want to and recognise that they need to – but my question is, what are good (ideally the best), subtle way/s to direct someone to recognise this abusive behaviour prevalent in them? Then it might trigger something in them to seek more help and begin a journey of their own self healing.
Can anyone give any recommendations on things such as books or documentaries?
Other things for context;
She’s not open to the idea of therapy or counselling yet as she doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with her (so yeah I know what I want to achieve is a long shot).
She has gone through a number of traumatic events in her life.
She doesn’t have a violent bone in her body, so I think its best to avoid resources that go in to physical abuse in too much detail.
I haven’t mentioned she is emotionally abusive directly to her, but I know she will get really upset if I even suggest it.