When I was 18, I was in the latest of many depressive episodes, and I didnt want to be here anymore. When the time came that I was gonna do it, I got the tool to end my life but I chickened out at the last second.
I went inside and my parents yelled at me for being a few hours late from work then I told them about the mental state I was in and how I wanted to end it. But they didn't believe me at all, and yelled at me that I was "attention seeking" and other such things. They basically showed me zero love that night, then sent me off to bed ALONE when I was in a state where my life was literally in danger. I felt extremely horrible then, because I was already in an extre.ely lonely state with almost no friends and they made me feel even more isolated and like shit.
But what I've realized more and more, is this truth- my life was in immediate danger, and they did nothing; they did not care. Your parents. The two people who are supposed to be your ultimate protectors. They did nothing. When my life was in danger.
And what's messed up is, we've never discussed it after the fact. They never apologized. We haven't even mentioned it. Which makes me feel kind of insane but I am NOT going to initiate that conversation when I have no idea how they'll respond. They're welcome to initiate that conversation with an apology though! But if it hasn't happened yet, it likely never will.
I think about this moment nearly everyday. How can you treat your daughter so horribly when she is in a crisis? When she comes to you saying she's in a crisis and wants to end her own life and you… do nothing? Except get angry tell her her problems aren't real and send her to bed? What is the deal with that??