This might be way too niche. But on certain days I literally have to tell myself “I’m allowed to be here. Just like that person next to me.” This usually happens in, for example, the supermarket when someone is next to me and it’s worse when people are annoyed because you’re maybe in the way of whatever they’re trying to get from the shelf.
I can’t explain the feeling. It’s not just bad it’s overwhelming. It’s also bad when someone laughs at me or (extremely bad) if someone is annoyed at me or looks at me in an arrogant way. Like I’m worth less than them.
This can’t just be low self esteem.
Can anyone relate? I’m 26 and walking around thinking “I’m allowed to be here”. I don’t just think people are annoyed I think they are disgusted by me actually or extremely pissed of by my existence which is usually not true of course but it feels like it. I’m in therapy for depression and social anxiety and everything has gotten better but not this.
I’m like a sponge that soaks up every mean thing someone says or does to me even if it’s an arrogant look.