How to I go back to being normal?

My life has been background noise for the last 4 years. I’ve tried asking for help. For a long time now and I’ve been on medicine for a while. I can’t remember much anymore and I’ve forgotten when I started taking them. I have also attempted therapy with 2 separate people. Though my first therapist didn’t last long and my current has only just started helping me.
What do I need to do?
I’m currently taking 10 milligrams of buspirone twice a day and 150 mg of Bupropion Hcl xl/Wellbutrin xl.

I also tried Prozac for a while but I was taken off it. I was bad about not taking my medicine so I may not have allowed myself time to actually try it. Should I ask to try it again?

I haven’t noticed any meaningful improvement in myself but my doctor said that I’m different. I think I might have misled him. I constantly act like I feel emotion whenever I can. I don’t really have a drive to do so but I just do it habitually. I think I may have started acting differently whenever I came in for a checkup. I don’t know.

Should I give it more time? Or do I need to tell him.

I just need to feel something again

Do I need to reach out to a psychiatrist?

I can’t tell how severe i really am. It’s been so long since i felt real emotions when I wasn’t high that I don’t know what they feel like. I don’t think I’m addicted to weed. I only take it every so often, and I feel no urge to consume it. I can go months without it and feel no different but could I be addicted?

If someone could please give me any sort of guidance on what I should do next. I don’t even know if I’m alive anymore.

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