TL;DR: My father, who was diagnosed with lung cancer two years ago, recently had a recurrence after a period of stability. This time feels more challenging due to his deteriorated health and diminished optimism. My mother is struggling as his primary caregiver. I have been experiencing persistent guilt without a clear cause and am seeking advice on how to manage these feelings.
Two years ago, my father was diagnosed with lung cancer. After various treatments, the tumor stopped growing, and it was no longer necessary to continue the treatments. This was extremely positive news, considering that this type of cancer can never be completely eradicated; thus, this was the best possible scenario.
Unfortunately, at his latest check-up scan a little over a month ago, it was found that the tumors have started growing again. Today, my father had his first new chemotherapy session.
The initial diagnosis two years ago was emotionally very tough. However, this time it feels even more challenging. My father is not as optimistic as he was during the first round of treatment and is much weaker (he has lost 10 kilograms in the past three weeks, partly due to stress). My mother is also having a hard time. She is a very caring woman and seeing her struggle is difficult for me. She faces the disease and my depressed father 24 hours a day.
For the past three weeks, I have been experiencing a lot of guilt. These feelings do not stem from any specific situation but seem to exist without a clear reason, making me feel guilty. These emotions are affecting my daily life, and I want to learn how to manage them.
I am very curious if others recognize this in themselves and what they have done to minimize these feelings and/or cope with them. Recommendations for books, podcasts, etc., are very welcome.