Few days ago I told my crush that I liked him and he told me that he likes me too. We cuddled for few hours. I was so happy he told me that when we were talking about "ideal" partners he meant me and that he really liked me a lot but the only problem was thay his bestfriend is my ex (whom we dated when were in school). My ex still has a crush on me and as his best friend my crush knew about it and felt like he was betraying his BF but we talked about it and decided to be together so we can try and wait excitable momemt to come clean but today my crush told me that he likes only as a friend and at that time he didn't wanted to hurt my feelings. And I know that its because of my ex. Situation is so complicated and weird. For me is also a triggering because after so many years I found courage to be with someone and that someone just gave me a hope out of politness (his words).
I feel hurt, betrayed, and in so much pain thay I can't stop crying. It's so embarrassing for me. All 3 of us were friends together and I feel like I ruined everything. Im so dumb idiot for thay. Even if they want us to be friends I can't. I just can't. I have been in similar situation and it was bad. Im just having flashnacks and I shouldn't have opened at first place. Im in so much pain and nobody around me understanding me