I don't feel like i deserve anything that's better than the ordinary, good food isn't supposed to be eaten by me, good clothes aren't supposed to be wrong by me, someone's love, care, kindness, attention, not deserving.
Gifts, games, comfort, happiness.
These things are deserved by people who are actually useful, who've done something to deserve them, people who can give something back in return.
I don't deserve any of that, i barely deserve what's mediocre let alone anything more than that.
I don't deserve breaks, I don't deserve peace.
Nothing. Nothing I am deserving of until I have earned it.