I don’t even know what’s wrong with me anymore

I used to have what was very obviously depression and anxiety. Went on sertraline and bupropion for about 6 months and have been tapering for the past month (per my doctor’s instructions). I decided to taper because even after adjustments to my dosage and the addition of bupropion i was so numb. Also, the tinnitus was really bad. My school performance was suffering I think because i didn’t have the anxiety that would normally drive me to get stuff done.

It’s been a week of being completely off my medication and I’m able to cry again (which is a good thing for me) but I don’t feel any better otherwise. The brain zaps are terrible first of all- they’re making me feel super out of it. Secondly (and this is probably my biggest issue), I can’t get myself to go to class/get caught up on school work. I’ve only gone to a few classes in the last month and a half and I’m really digging myself into a hole. The problem is.. I just don’t care? I feel nothing about the F I have in every class. Intellectually I know I need to just suck it up and go but it’s like there’s an even more powerful force in my brain trying to sabotage me. Idk if that makes sense.

I suppose it’s a sensation of not feeling real? Like the consequences of what I’m doing don’t scare me whatsoever. I don’t know how to break out of this. Part of me feels like I don’t even want to break out of it.

Hoping to hear from anyone who’s experienced feelings like this.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *