Lately, I’ve been feeling my mental health decreasing. I have feel myself slowly going insane and entire incident happen yesterday. I’ve been getting worse and worse since last year the year before that right now I don’t know if I believe myself believe where I’m at. I’m just lying to myself. I feel like my head hurts all the time I’m getting nosebleeds my relationship is probably over friendship or romantic. Everything’s over I feel like where are they get done with their vacation and we’re gonna have a call and they said it’s not good or bad. which I already have a sinking feeling it’s gonna be horrible. I’ve been stressing them out, worrying them on vacation. I feel like a failure disappointment schizophrenic a lot more paranoid I don’t wanna be like this I don’t want to get checked out to because of what if they sent me away I walked out of the room, and in the object is gone. It feels like it I like its is there. I’m alone all the time I’ve been isolated for fucking I don’t know how long. only have my dog, and he keeps me company, and like I love this person to death Where I want the best for them but I feel like the best of me not being in their life or anything like that they don’t need an insane person who is not OK and never will be like they say they’re so happy. I’ll talk to the meaning of love.
And I’m throwing it all away and it hurts. I didn’t cheat or anything but it’s just fucking hurts. I feel insane and Valerie I feel like. Is there so many powerful emotions and I feel so broken I just want to sleeping sleeping sleeping don’t wanna wake up. I want to motion in the swaps over an hour or two and has been doing that so much lately. I have no control my emotion I feel like or my thoughts. Or his armadas account was just for games and then I recently found out. One of my friends said they think I am like rapid cycling, bipolar disorder or something and I was like OK you know the more I read about it I kind of feel like it, but I feel more schizophrenia insane I feel like I ain’t gonna get loved and fuck lost everything ns. It’s just like static rapid I don’t know I don’t know try and curled up in a ball and then get up and I don’t know it I just lost lost I’m so lost I mean I know they’ll always love me, but it’s not about my partner right now. I’m OK with the big, my best friend or friend I liked them I n my life. It’s just how I am right now lol scared I just wanna scream punch a wall or a fucking have the balls in it but I can’t I don’t know any all comments even negative or bad will help me I just need help. I don’t know how maybe advice sor something.
