Sometimes I fantasize me blowing my brains out and surviving. I truly don’t want to die, but I just want for my mom to see that I’m hurting.
No matter how many scars she sees on my arms and legs does she ever notice that I do it. No many how times I sleep in, no matter how many times I say I hate my life.
No one notices when I have been sleep for hours or sometimes days at a time from overdosing. No one notices how much weight I lose and gain in the matter of months.
This is in so shape or from me saying I’m neglected, but when it comes to my mental health and my mental well being, I have no one here for me.
I feel like I take the final blow, they’ll understand. I really to be there when they understand how I feel, I don’t want them to notice while it’s too late. Death is something I’ll never understand.
I’m very lost and confused on what to do. I have so much trauma that no one knows. I have no idea how to tell anyone about the things that’s happened to me, I’m lost and I need help.