I don’t want any advice, I’ve tried basically everything anyone’s thrown at me and nothing works and I can’t do some of the stuff. I just want to rant or vent and I can’t talk to my online friends who are generally the only people I do talk to because they’re probably so so so sick of me. Even if they’re not I just can’t talk to them.
Anyway, my mental health is steadily deteriorating and I have no idea how to fix myself. I seek validation through some… bad coping mechanisms that I probably shouldn’t be doing. And I just, I’m going insane. I’m not myself and I’m not the person I want to be. My brain is against me. I’m so scared. I’m worried about myself and I just wanna cry.
I have symptoms of moderate to severe depression, moderate to serve binge eating disorder and moderate anxiety. This is making my life hell. I also have these weird fantasies and thoughts that make me disgusted with myself. It’s not sexual, or well, I guess some of them kind of are? But it’s not like I want it. I don’t feel aroused. I just hate myself and I wanna throw up.