I know that my problems are not as bad as others and that I'm very privileged to have the problems that I do but I feel lost and don't know what to do.
I just graduated high-school and I'm going to university in the fall. I have social anxiety disorder and have been terrified of social interaction for as long as I can remember (which is not much because everything before covid is really foggy).
I spent the last 4 years of my life alone hating myself and everyone else. I was projecting my own insecurities and problems onto others and I was miserable. Now I am finally at a place where I am ok with who I am and I like living life. But its too late. Finally I am ready for highschool and its all over. Im out of time. I have 2 months to experience high school because I wasted it in my room isolated hating myself. After August I start over again. I will have nothing. I hope I can keep in touch with some of my friends because I really do love them. But i dont know if they will want to or be able to. They all have so many friends and people around them that I don't know. They wont need me so why would they ever choose to spend time with me. Im scared about the future and what life will be like. Everything is about to end and I don't know what to do. I just wish I had more time.
I don't know what to do. Does everyone feel like they are running out of time? Is this just how I experience life? Am I going to regret wasting these last 4 years for the rest of my life?