For context, I don't mean that in the literal sense. I don't think it's a size problem so much as it's a functionality issue.
You see, I feel like I can't make proper connections with people and concepts. I cant comprehend more than 1 thing at a time whether that is with my eyes, ears or heart.
If my brain could just be a little "bigger" maybe I could reach far enough to collect everything and get my ducks in a row. Something just isn't right.
I don't understand why I can't control what comes out of my mouth, it's like I can't process ny thoughts fast enough to say them and even then, I fumble over my thoughts. I cant keep myself from blurting things out even when I know it's not socially correct in the situation and I can't make friends. I'm afraid of people and I actively avoid it because I just. There's never enough of me to understand how to connect myself to people or even me to myself.
Logically, something is just wrong.
Even on my antianxiety meds, in still struggling to organize my brain and control connections. It seems eve my arms and legs lag sometimes when I try to execute natural commands.
What do I do? Am I broken? Am I wrong, could this be normal and I'm upset that I'm not a perfectly running machine?
