It’s so hard, on the daily not being stressed about things. Overthinking. Being terrible at socializing to the point you gaslight you have no friends. But u hold a job, go to school (I failed 2nd semester not that people know but I’m continuing anyways) i have a boyfriend and I’m told I’m a kind person sweet or caring but it seems like I having nothing. It’s so upsetting because I don’t know what to do when I feel like this anymore. No one listens or it feels like that. I lose the will to do anything because it’s just so much. I’m used to the hatred and the judging and the eyes all the time im used to failure in life and the wins followed with i dont know more lost in myself or more fear of adbandonment of my self or others. I feel like I self sabotage myself constantly, im unable to be positive or I can but just not for myself. I struggle with obsession of wanting to buy more stuff animals to ease the stress and drown myself in it. I obsess of eattig so much then nothing or lose the will to eat. I’m so tired but unable to sleep or shut my eyes. Nightmares constant baggage over my head and fear when people raise there voice. I was never like this. I thought I was a happy child. But even looking now I never truly was and I guess it all caught up and I still have nothing to show. But I’ve been told I do but it means nothing to me. I hope everyone just does there best because don’t we all? As even if living is the only option I guess it opens more doors for us, i don’t know hugs for everyone.
