I have my exams coming up and I’m scared absolutely shitless. My father has only now noticed after years of school that my grades have been dropping (as a result of there being more to cover, and a period of time where my mental health took a plunge) and has been going on at me about it. I feel like he had an idea in his head that I was doing amazing in academics, which he’s only realised is completely make-believe.
As well as this, he and my mother keep on commenting on my weight, because I basically didn’t move for months as the result of a stupid amount of coursework and most of my time spent sleeping due to medical problems. If I stopped working on my coursework to exercise or take a break, I’d get a lecture on the importance of timing things better and completing my work. If I didn’t exercise, I’d get snide comments from the rest of the week about how much weight I was gaining and how unfit I was.
I don’t know what to do about it anymore, I told my mother how bad my mental health was in December after getting back the car crash which were my mock exam results, but she effectively spun it into “you shouldn’t feel depressed or remotely suicidal, because you’ll make ME feel bad”. I’ve actively told my parents to not comment on my weight gain because I’m trying my hardest to juggle everything and its demoralising to have them invalidate what effort I’m even able to put into it. The doctors have pointed out problems in my attention span, mental health and sleeping patterns (I keep falling asleep on the ground when I get too tired) but it’s still somehow my fault because I should have the foresight to plan ahead of all these issues (??) and complete my schoolwork, chores and exercise.