Like 3 weeks ago something in my head told me I have no soul and I freaked out, like, really badly. Idk why but I was really scared that I’m soulless. Then I’ve started having those weird thoughts, that what if I was replaced or someone in my family was.
And then I connected the dots and was like I just have a new soul now. I decided that I need to change everything abt my looks. Wanted to get piercings and tooth gems and a tattoo to celebrate my spiritual awakening. I even booked 2 appointments. But now I’m afraid to go there and I’m not sure If I even want to.
The whole thing was really out of character for me.
I woke up yesterday very sad and realized that the thing is that I don’t even know If something like a soul exists. I’m an agnostic but for some reason I spent past two weeks thinking about this new soul everyday for hours on end. It’s either this or my alleged psychosis/schizophrenia that I think about most of the time.
I don’t even know what going on with me.
I’ve been expieriencing hypnagogic hallucinations on top of that and they kinda freak me out. I also see shadows in my peripheral vision sometimes even when fully awake and it kinda got me worried that I’m either going crazy or my sight is all messed up so there’s that.
I don’t know if I’m gonna cancel the appointments or go anyways. And I don’t know how to tell my psych all of this and I’m seeing her this Thursday, so wish me luck guys.