I've had depression ever since i was 8-9 years old, it wasn't big or anthing. Just a constant feeling of numbness and sadness. As i got older though it's worsened. At one point i was getting "those" thoughts and began hurting myself. Usually when i upset someone in anyway. Thankfully i haven't had those thoughts in a while, obviously there are moments where i want to fall asleep and never wake up, but I've gotten to a point where i don't want to do that to myself. The self harm is still an issue though, either by starving myself or digging my nails into my skin. However a new problem has emerged, my motivation is at the lowest it's ever been. I can't do anything. House work, school work, self care, hell i can't even do things i WANT to do. Even back then when i was having suicidal thoughts i still was able to play video games or draw, now all i can do is mindlessly scroll throught TikTok or YouTube and even that's becoming hard to do. Any suggestions to help improve motivation? Because i know that once i start playing my favorite video games or something I'll feel better, i just can't push myself to do it.
