I just had a breakdown. Help

I am trying to stay alive. I broke down, and recorded it. 3 grams of psilocybin. I don't know. Do I send the recording to my therapist. In it I said I probably needed to be admitted to psychiatric care. I detailed the abuse I went through.. possible malpractice by another medical professional, awhat I was hearing.. it went on for 23 minutes. There about.

I've been trying. I don't really know anymore. Does this sound serious to you? I'm sorry if it sounds stupid. I read it and. Fuck.

I messaged my therapist, she doesn't seem to be awake. Do I wait until tomorrow. If I've broken down like that but I'm lucid now, do I still send it. I'm not trolling. I think I need help. Please. It feels wrong to say it. Like I'm a bitch for doing it, like I should just know, like I should just keep on trying to be functional. There is a little more strength in me now but. I don't know. I don't know. If you know how.

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