In the photo, i was smiling wide. Happiness was obvious on my face, in fact i was overly happy. Although the time the photo taken was the beginning of the storm that ruined my life, i was still a happy bright kid who loved life. Now after all these years have passed and im an adult, I feel bad about my life. How sad it is for that kid to grow up to become the mess that i am today. I miss the old me.
That little kid with the big smile is still inside of you waiting for you to reconnect. You don’t have to hold onto guilt/shame especially when it isn’t yours to begin with. It’s a grieving process of the life we thought we would have.
It’s funny you posted this because I’ve been thinking the exact same thing
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Definately still time for u to be happy my man, the past is the past and try to look forward no mather how hard it seems.
I need help
I wish you happiness, or at least happy moments.
Every second looking backwards is a second not moving forwards. OK….cliches don’t work.
You have to learn not to think about the past. OK….throw away comments don’t work.
Life can’t possibly be that bad. OK….euphemisms don’t work.
The only truth I found wading through the piles of shit thrown at me so far? Stop looking for happiness, then you’ll find it. It can’t be bought, or taught, noone can give it to you whether it be friends or family. You were happy as a kid because you weren’t looking for it. It just happened….no matter what was going on around you.
Our minds are polluted with so much garbage as we get older, how can any of us expect to be happy? You just have to let the shit flush down the skibidi toilet where it belongs.
Exactly what I was going to say
Even as a kid I was miserable
Now I’m
54
The best advice I can give is to strive to be the person that your younger self needed. If you’ve done that, you’ve succeeded.
Same feeling, however finding that piece of you where you once where happy is up to you .
It exists and you will see that things will slowly improve. I am in that path and I promise you can get it.
I had an ex bf tell me I looked so happy that my eyes sparkled .what made me so happy at 13 I said I haven’t a clue .
I’m sorry for what you’ve been through, but just know you’re not alone and others struggle with the same feelings. There’s new memories to be made, new people to meet- it’s not over for you.
Same. I feel like I’ve lost the happy kid I once was, but then I remember how my childhood ACTUALLY was and realise I wasn’t actually happy, and that I was just using coping mechanisms. I hope you’re able to heal, OP
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6 years into this world, was already a grumpy kid 😕
Same man. I was a cute kid. Now
I’m ugly as shit lol
I don’t know how old you are, but I have recently learned that it’s never too late to get help. I’ve struggled with a lot of mental health issues my entire life, and I look back sometimes and think about how *unhappy* I was but I had to fake it.
I’ve just scheduled my first visit with a psychiatrist to get my life back on track, I’ve been trying to be more mindful about the things I eat, and I’ve been taking each day one step at a time and not letting myself get too upset at my failures. Not everyday is going to be 10/10, but that’s ok.
I’ve been able to accomplish this because I realized that I am truly the only person responsible for my happiness. I had to take a look in the mirror and ask myself if I wanted to sit around and “woe is me” all day or prove to myself that I’m the shit and can get my happiness and my life back if I try hard enough.
Live every day for yourself. The core of what you do should be for yourself and yourself only. When you do that, you’ll come to find happiness simply gravitates towards you, and eventually you can put that energy into more great things.
I regret a lot of how my past time was spent and it sends me on a spiral of deeper depression and negative thoughts and it bleeds into everything and has ruined my support network. I have found focusing on the present over reminiscing the past doesn’t fix this, but has definitely helped reframe my mindset to move forward with the energy instead of staying still dwelling.
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it took me a long time to remember to laugh out loud. Feel your emotions. There will be times of joy.
I look at old photos of mine too and see that joy I had gone away. I hope you find that spark again. You deserve it.
I’ve thoght this many times when i see old pictures of myself. From childhood, to teenager, and adult , it gets more and more depressing.
I relate to this. I was such a happy child, always smiling and thrilled with almost everything. Tragedy struck me early on and it seemed to continue throughout my life. I haven’t been anywhere near happy in decades. I feel you on this so much.
I recently got a hold of the diary my mom kept for me when I was a baby. I couldn’t come close to finishing reading it because I felt so guilty. She genuinely loved me so much but I grew to resent her, even if it was her fault. I hate that all she wanted for me was to have a good relationship with God only for me to turn out fiercely atheist, gay, and deeply depressed
Same man , every pic of me as a kid I’m smiling so bright . Now I have depression and FOMO . Your childhood really are your best years
I was severely mentally ill as a young child with OCD and GAD. At least there was some point in your life where you weren’t mentally ill.