ive been depressed for 5 years, i attempted suicide and did sh so many times. im trying to stop sh right now for my gf but its pretty hard, i keep having suicidal thoughts and my mom does nothing but abuse me mentally and its making everything worse. she doesn't even talk to me without yelling even if i did nothing wrong and tried my best to be nice to her. i feel trapped and i cant talk about my feelings to anyone, i could talk to my gf but i dont want her to worry and i cant even explain how im feeling. i wanna get therapy but idk any good therapist here and idk whats safe to talk about and what's not, i cant even ask for help. im so tired.