I’ve been going down this giant rabbit hole of self hate, I don’t know why but when I try to act happy at the end of the day when no one is around I can’t. A few nights ago I came to the realization that I hate myself, pretty much everything about me when really, I just think I’m overthinking. I’ve also found that little things that people mildly dislike make me REALLY sad and I don’t know why that is. Ex: my favorite artist is Eminem and me and my friends waited till midnight for his new song (Houdini) I LOVED this song one friend thought it was good and the other kinda hated on it calling it mid and most likely to be the worst song on the album. That ruined my hype and made me really sad and maybe ruined some of the initial liking I had of it(end of ex) another thing that is annoying is girls, my friend keep getting all these girls and flirt/talk with them but when it comes to me I talk to none and I think that a big blow on my confidence. As of now it’s already really low and I only have about 4 good friends. I find myself to be a nuisance when I don’t do a lot in the first place and I won’t talk to girls for fear of not only rejection but of making them feel uncomfortable. I am a very loving person and I hate making people feel bad/awkward maybe that’s another reason. I just needed to vent thanks to all who read.
