I need help and don’t know what to do anymore

I’m a 27 year old male who’s been through ”a lot more than the average person” I lost the first 5 years of my adult life (18–23) to a state penitentiary. I saw people die. I read cases that not even the public should know about it and slept in max security facilities for a total of 13 months because of COVID and “mismanaged paperwork”

My ex fiancé was my entire life and purpose for life. It was that type of love where you both wake up smiling because you’re looking at each other. And then she cheated and got pregnant. I got out parole free and took her and the child in as my own because it just felt like he was. He was the most funny, beautiful little boy I’ve ever gotten the chance to father. Skip ahead to now and I’ve wasted $55,000 in 4 months running from my problems touring the country feeling like it’s a farewell tour. I don’t know how to live without her and that little boy. Open to literally any suggestions.

Just for clarification we were together for 7 years so it’s not like it’s just some nonesense relationship.

I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore.

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