I have this kink which I am heavily ashamed of and I just don't know what to do because if I surrender to it, I wont be able to complete my dreams and stay in with mainstream society my family and friends would all be disappointed in me and I too would myself. Half of me wants it half of me doesn't and its a constant battle with the 2 and if I being so fr I wouldn't even care which side wins but this constant yes no yes no is so painful and results in me getting nothing done and causes loads of stress and anguish.
as someones that likes science and delves into it I'm aware that kinks and pretty much anything from sexuality to identity or are not inherently directly from your innate DNA but rather have just been activated from an experience, wiring them into your brain making you, you (Think of inside out 2).
If there a way I can carve it out or deactivate it I'd love some help. I've done EFT tapping before on other beliefs and it has changed them for the better, in fact my belief on ability to do intellectual studies was transformed and now I feel like if I put the work in I can achieve anything.