I think of killing myself everyday

Hi guys, I wanted to post here to talk about a problem I have and it's really not good.
I've been like 6 years thinking everyday about killing myself or just wanting to disappear completely. I do not want to kms, but I really think about the disappearing, which makes my life so fucked worse.
I'm so tired of my life, about the things I have to go through, I don't want to do any harm to me and will never do, but I really need advice for stopping that kind of thoughs every time something bad happens to me.
It's a really bad sensation having that disgusting thoughts without actually wanting to harm yourself. I'm becoming crazy.

(Sorry for the typos, English isn't my first language and I wrote this while being on a breakdown).

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