I don't really know how to explain this, but lately, I've been yearning for friendships. All of my friendships kinda fell through, and I've been pretty lonely lately. But on the other hand, I don't really want any friendships. Maybe this is my depression talking, but it seems like too much work to care for other humans when I can barely care for myself. I'd rather stay home and read a book or do a puzzle than go out with friends. I'd rather move without having to say goodbye to anyone. Maybe this is because I've been burned so much by friendships, but friendships just don't seem fun anymore. They seem like too much work when I'd rather do stuff by myself. And I know this sounds stupid and selfish, but I just don't know how to think. I'm lonely, but I don't want friends.
