idk how to get better

i'm really trying to make it stop but recently i'm filled with "passive suicide thoughts" i don't even have the energy to shower i'm disgusting and i don't recognize myself in the mirror i'm a 19yo girl ruining my youth being severely depressed while my
"friends" are having the time of their lives am i wrong for being pissed off? i haven't texted anyone or posted anything which is out of character and no one cared to reach out to me
i'm tired of this i want the pain to stop i can't handle it this world is not made for me… too much horror everyday

it’s been almost 3 years.. i need a break from life

i know i don’t have the balls and i won’t actually commit but i’m hurting so bad it’s breaking me

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